I’ve wanted to blog, but a lot of stuff has come up that has either kept me busy or kept me away from any computers! There were a few “status updates” that I’ve been wanting to keep tabs on for the last couple of months, and those had me checking the computer every hour for a good two weeks until I set a limit on myself and resolved to impose a self ban on computer usage. Then, Mom took a spill and after knee surgery and a brief hospital stay, I spend a few days a week just chilling with her. She’s pretty darn self sufficient (Geez, I’m not like that at all!) but I think she enjoys the company, and it’s nice for me to have someone to hang out with before work. Evenings gets to be quite lonely.
Plus, some things are best just kept in a personal journal so as not to offend or maybe hinder my bank account. I’m pretty sure only my close friends follow this, and you all know what I’ve been striving for this past year almost! Oh, exciting! But, just in case, I like to take a few precautions.
1. Two of the three statuses I was checking replied favorably! I’m so thrilled, this whole new life has opened up before me, and the dreams are just starting to pour in! I’ll let everyone know as soon as the top candidate is figured out!
2. Interestingly, that sounds like I’m back in the online dating arena……….
3. Things with the ol’ betes have been running pretty smoothly. New changes such as:
- Wearing my pump while exercising in my new tummytote (brought to you by tallygear.com) has helped tremendously to avoid post exercise blood sugar excursions (fancy shmancy term for ups and downs of the glucose levels). I feel kind of awkward since it won’t tighten enough and sometimes it looks like I’ve got a rectangular tumor (it’s not a too-ma!), but eventually I’ll get some new velcro sewn on).
- Increased my dawn phenomenon battling basals between 1am and 5am. I am sleeping so much better now.
- And then, most days I’m really stellar at eating balanced meals every four hours. Protein at each meal, good fats, veggies and fruits….stuff like that.
Life is really starting to look up again, and I’m so excited (dancing in the streets, in the kitchen, even in the morning when I hop out of bed excited!) to see how things progress. I feel calmer and more centered, and none of that would have been possible without friends and family. And maybe some wine, a bit of yoga, and a great therapist.
That’s not say I’m without my meltdowns. This weekend I ripped a site out when I was trying on clothes, and it just flipped a switch in me. I drove like Mario Andretti (ok, maybe not really) to get home, every bit of me on the attack against the diabetes. I was so mad that I had to drive home, change my site, take 30 minutes out of MY DAY to fix something that I see as so ridiculous. It’s like I am totally cool with the whole thing, until the diabetes puts a cramp in my schedule with a ripped out site, or a bad site, or killer low or high sugars. Then all the anger comes out. I’m unsure if I want to pursue working to truly rid myself of that anger. I think so long as I’m not harming my self (or seriously driving the streets like a mad person) then letting this wrath out at these times may be good. I know how to calm myself down. I’ve got people I can call (thanks for the help with this one, Dad!) I just wish sometimes there was a real thing I could yell at instead of my stupid pancreas.